I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
