can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
