I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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