one two three fourrrrnication!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
