Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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