So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
