So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I understand Curling. That high.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
