Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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