I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
