Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Hippo gnu deer
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
