You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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