This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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