you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
