My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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