I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
