apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
