it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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