i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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