So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
