yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
