i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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