You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
