On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
