just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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