I think I won the penis lottery.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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