i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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