it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
