he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
