Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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