last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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