it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
where does the pee come out of this thing
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
