i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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