So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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