And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
