the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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