i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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