when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
