So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
