Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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