You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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