She said her name was "party"
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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