Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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