would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize