shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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