Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
its liver damage thursday
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