i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
