he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
