She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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