remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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