if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
