it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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