this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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