I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
