do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
