I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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