I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
