Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
