she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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