Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
