I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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