thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
