I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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