Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
