He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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