margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
