Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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