I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
