I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
