I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
