So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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