I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sorry my hands just texted you
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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