lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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