Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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