if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
