As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
