It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
