no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
