I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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